Abuse...we shouldn't ignore it!

My daughter is in California for 10 days and I find that I have a little more time on my hand than normal...so I have some time to write.  I recently read a book called "Shattered".  It is the first book in a 3 part series called, "Passage Through Hell".  The author is Lori Choman and the books are about her life.  Her life as a severely abused child and what comes after surviving a childhood like that.

https://www.facebook.com/PassageThroughHell

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DD041AE

I have had the chance to friend Lori online and express my appreciation for sharing her story.  Her book is very straightforward and will make you cry, but knowing that she is a survivor now with a loving family of her own and sharing her story makes it easier to read.  Also, her story does something else, it sheds light on what child abuse looks like and casts light on the changes society has slowly been making.  That is why I am recommending this book.  Lori isn't sharing her story so that we read it and feel bad, she is sharing it so that it will help others.  I have also learned that sharing your story and not hiding from it or letting the shame take over is sooo healing.  Support Lori and others by sharing her story!!

It is easy for us as a society to forget that 30 years ago child abuse was not looked at the way it is today.  It is also easy for us to forget that abuse of any sort is still the well kept secret that many families and couples hide.  When you read Lori's story you hear first hand how people turned their backs instead of helping her, including the police, teachers, neighbors, and her own family.  The truth is that for centuries cultures all over the world made child abuse an acceptable norm.  It was not considered abuse then and it is sad how long it has taken society to recognize how human beings should be treated.  We all know that abuse within families still exists. Child abuse and domestic violence are unfortunately still rampant.  The upside is there are now laws and help for people and it is not socially acceptable anymore.  The downside there are still many people that turn the other way when they see someone that needs help, especially when it is a child with their parents.  We feel like it isn't our business.  We should ask ourselves when should we speak up or when should we call the police?

I realize that many people still debate what they consider abuse, but I am talking about behavior that unless you are a sociopath, you know is WRONG.  I know there is a huge debate over spanking and I do not want to take this blog down that path.  There is no debate over punching or kicking your children.  I believe that just as with domestic violence it is the same with children.  Mental and verbal abuse is just as detrimental, and in many cases worse.  A childhood of being demeaned and insulted stays with you.  Many people don't look at emotional abuse the same way as physical abuse, but it is just as damaging.

The one thing that keeps playing over in my head from Lori's book is that if you see a child who cries but never makes any noise they are most likely abused.  Severely abused children learn not to make any noise or the beating will be worse.  If you see a child who cries silently they may need help.

http://childabuseprevention.org/

http://www.preventchildabuse.org/index.php

I realize that the system is still not the best when it comes to protecting children and many children still fall through the cracks.  I realize that many people don't like to get involved and it is not an easy decision.  You can support organizations who help prevent abuse, you can help others educate themselves.  And if you feel like there is a child who needs help call someone who can help them.  Do not confront the parents as that may make the child's situation worse.  There are agencies you can call that can help you determine what you should do.  The Internet is a wonderful tool.  Look up a local organization that may be able to give you information that will help.  You don't have to feel like you should call Child Protective Service or the Police. You may just need information to help you understand the situation.   There are programs that can help if you feel there is a child that needs help.  Abuse can be emotional, physical, or mental.  As a society we should speak up for the ones that don't always have a voice.