OK...I'm ready to listen to a discussion about gun control...

Friday our country lost 20 innocent children and 6 heroic adults to a sick disturbed individual.  I posted that I was hesitant to get into all the political chatter and have vigorously pointed out my distaste for the media coverage.   After some online conversing with other friends across the country, and after reading an unending amount of posts, I realize that yes...this is the time to discuss gun control.

Here is where I am at with this topic...I have no idea what the answer is.  I feel that both sides have points to consider and that both sides have some extremist views that are unrealistic.  Right now what I am reading and seeing, seem to be  the extremist versions of both sides, because in the heat of the moment, everyone is giving their passionate views and also their hateful views.  I have read that everyone should arm themselves and shoot to kill any threat and I have read that anyone that owns a gun is vile devils spawn and should consider themselves just as responsible for this tragedy.  Please explain to me how either of those statements will keep this from happening again.

So...I am admitting I don't have a solution, but I am ready to listen to a discussion about gun control.  Not a political mud slinging lobbyist point of view, not a hateful human bashing session, but a rational discussion.    A discussion that results in actual ideas and not more hateful discord.

Here is where I stand, I don't believe any personal individual needs an assault weapon for any reason.  I believe that people should have to take classes and endure a lenghty application process to own a gun.  I believe that our country is lacking in mental health treatment and that mass shootings are a culmination of several individual factors in the shooters lives that we have limited control over.  I believe that we should be paying attention to everyday gun violence and not just being concerned when a psycho goes on a rampage.  I have read statistics that state somewhere between 46-80 people a day are shot and killed in our country.  I don't know the statistics on how many of those shootings involve people that can legally own a gun or not.  I have read that in mass shootings 80% of the shooters can legally own a gun.  In fact here is a link with some statistics about mass shootings and an article I read earlier...

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/07/mass-shootings-map

http://abcnews.go.com/ABC_Univision/News/mass-shootings-rise-us/t/story?id=17978004

After reading these it made me realize that my view about criminals getting guns doesn't really have much to do with the mass shootings.  I do believe that the daily shootings that take place that we never discuss are more likely to be committed by people who do not legally own guns, however mass shootings does not fall into that category.

I do not know what should be done to improve gun control...I don't believe that guns should be outlawed, but I do believe in gun control.  I believe that everyone should educate themselves.   Even people that don't own guns.  I believe people on both sides need to open their minds and look at the other moderate side of the issue.  I am not advocating for extremists on either side.  I was taught how to shoot a rifle when I was 11.  I had to take two classes before I even touched a rifle and I know how to safely handle a gun.  I haven't owned a gun since I was in my early 20's and I am a convicted felon so I cannot and will never be able to legally own a gun.  I do however know what to teach my daughter in regards to gun safety.  Here is the thing...you may not have guns in your home, but you need to teach your children safety for circumstances that may arise outside of your home.  The golden rule of Do Not Play With Guns should be a standard.

All the kids who were in the class of 90 with me went to school with a girl who's older brother shot and killed her younger brother on accident...she was not a poplular girl and many people didn't know her, but my family was friends with her family.  That family suffered two horrible losses.  They actually lost both of their sons that day.  The one who was killed and the one who was at the other end of a tragic accident.  Even in the 80's when this happened, the amount of debate that overshadowed her brother's death was horrible.  It took away from her families ability to grieve correctly and left them angry and bitter.  The older brother remains deeply emotionally disturbed to this day.  They deserved a few moments of peace for their son's and all they got was criticism and hateful comments.  It was horrible.  I believe that my distaste for the media coverage relating to victims stems from that experience in my life.  I don't want the rampage of political discussions to take away from the beautiful lives that need to be mourned and remembered.

And please do not engage me in a debate over the story that I just related...you are missing the point completely if you feel that you need to express your opinion about gun control in regards to the paragraph above.  

We were taught that guns are not toys.  My dad kept all his rifles locked up with trigger locks on them.  The respect that I was taught to have for a gun is still heavily ingrained in me and is being taught to my daughter.  I know many responsible gun owners who do not advocate against gun control.  Most of the gun owners that I know pass on more education than is realized.  I believe that people need to at least look at the other side in order to come up with relevant ideas pertaining to gun control.  The issue goes beyond gun owners and non gun owners.  It is about how we as humans should treat each other and react to each other.  Civilization as we know it was born of violence and made from violence...sadly we cannot revert back to a "peaceful" society, because we've never lived in a peaceful society.  All we can do is figure out how to identify and manage the elements that cause the violence.  Society as a whole has been going through a trial and error process of this for thousands of years.

I believe that our countries legal system needs to be held a bit more accountable for things that happen when it comes to crimes committed with guns.  A real discussion regarding gun control needs to not just be about the random mass shootings, but about everyday gun violence.  The majority of which I would say is committed during another criminal act.  I know first hand how the legal system has failed in that respect.  My ex, who is a violent convicted felon has been picked up numerous times on "prohibited possessor charges and the charges have been dropped.  The one time the charges stuck he was placed on probation.  During his three years of probation he was arrested numerous times for having a "deadly weapon" and was let go every fucking time.  All the while he was abusing me at home.  Do you know how many times I wished they would have kept him in jail and he got out the next day.  It was a nightmare.

He is currently in jail for aggravated assault and being a prohibited possessor...he has 5 felony counts against him and has finally been indicted by a grand jury.  I am hopeful that it sticks this time.  If that happens and he is convicted than I will file to have his rights revoked.  I cannot move forward with anything until I know that he has been convicted and sent to prison though.  If he is just put on probation again and I file a petition with the court than I have to worry about his retaliation.  He has become more and more unstable over the years.  I am faced with the real life dilemma of defending myself against him if he is not in prison.  The system has failed on numerous occasions...if it fails this time how do I defend myself against a violent felon who has no regard for gun laws.  I am a non-violent felon who follows the gun laws and have no way to defend myself from him if he was to come after me with a gun.  My husband has every right to defend us, but I do not.  How does that scenario work out in everybody's debate on gun control?  If my ex does not go to prison, I will probably not file the petition to revoke his rights, just based on the fear of retaliation.  All I need is for him to be convicted and I will have the ground to file, but if he is convicted and placed on probation and not sent to prison, than I have no protection from him once he finds out.  NONE!!!  Tell me how the system and gun control are going to help me then.

 The system does not work and it is scary because no matter what regulations are in place you cannot get rid of the evil out there.  It frustrates me because when I look at these mass shootings I don't see just the guns that the people used...I see the individuals that will not be stopped for any reason.  How do you stop that?Perhaps we can put up barriers and deterrents, but we have to fix the system.  We have to have a better legal system, a better victim's advocate system, better screening for gun owners and a better mental health care system.  We need to communicate better as a society and speak up more before tragedy happens and not just after it happens.  Shootings related to domestic violence happen more than tragic mass shootings...they are everyday occurrences...why aren't we talking about them everyday.  If you want to talk about shootings than talk about them all!!  We should not place more value over a life just because you didn't read about it in the paper or see it on TV.

Another reason I dislike the media coverage...they project the killer into infamy and forget the victims.  How many other killers have been mentioned over the last few days.  Other mass shooters are being re-hashed, but has anyone re-released all the names of the previous victims?  Even when people talk about the horrible shooting in Tucson you talk about Gabby, Christina, Gabe, and Judge Roll...but you never hear about Dorothy, Phyliss, or Dorwan.  They were just your regular neighbors...they were all in their 60's and 70's, and there is no reason that we shouldn't remember them as well.

I realize that my blog is rambling and I haven't truly drawn any conclusions...but this is my part of the discussion.  I would like to be part of the rational discussion.  I would like to listen to your discussion...this is how we start, by listening and not badgering others...

I am ready to listen...