What I really want to say...

I am an extremely talkative person.  I enjoy sharing information and am very animated when I talk.  It is like an event whenever I share with others...my hands are waving around, my head bobs up and down and I tend to make varied sound effects when I am describing actions.  I can talk and talk and talk.  I am very aware of this and most people that know me are also.  My whole family is this way...my mom, my son, and now my daughter.  In fact, when my mom, my son, and I are having one of our animated conversations my seven year old daughter gets so excited that she waves her hand up and down saying, "I have a story, I have a story", so she can join in.  Ironically, amidst all the words that come out of my mouth, I would say that a good 50% of what I really want to say is still in my head or only comes out halfway.

I know I'm not the only one out there that thinks to themselves while having a conversation.  I'm sure many people that are on the other end of me babbling on and on are totally drifting off in their head.  I am a little different.  My mind gets to going so fast at times that as the words are coming out of my mouth I am literally thinking something else.  People often point out that I get stuck in the middle of a thought and I say "hey", "well", and "ummmm" a great deal and then never finish my thought.  Making me look a bit wacky at times.  I try to explain to people like my husband and my son, that it is just that my mind is so active I can't get the words out fast enough.  I usually receive a gentle pat on the head then and a sarcastic, "Yeah Mom, your mind is just a million times faster than your mouth." from my son.

It would be awesome If I could have a cartoon bubble next to my head all the time with the statement, "What I really want to say is...." in it.  That way as one statement is pouring out of my mouth...what I am really thinking is in my little cartoon bubble.  It would be like the funny cartoons where the person says one thing and then the cartoon bubble has their actual opinion or thought in it.  Generally in the cartoons one person is describing an event, while the other person, who is pretending to listen, has a cartoon bubble above them with what they are actually thinking.  Not for me...I am the person, drifting off, while I am actually talking.  In my mind the two thoughts are probably not related at all and it would make no sense to the person reading the bubble. I might be saying, "I really enjoyed that movie about...", and right as I'm about to describe the movie I might notice that the pen in my hand has an advertisement for a car wash on it...hmmmm I should get my car washed...should I go thru the automatic drive thru or should I do it myself...do I have enough quarters in the truck to do it myself...and then back to my conversation where I am now saying, "ummmm...", instead of describing the movie. 

Unfortunately...when you change thoughts in the middle of a sentence you usually loose the entire old thought and while you are trying to remember the old thought you also loose the new thought and that leaves you with, "Ummmm".  If I could invent closed captioning for your mind...I would never have that problem again.  Instead most of my conversations end with me saying, "What were we talking about again"?   Which usually leaves the person on the other end of the conversation completely baffled because they have spent the whole time just listening to my babble of half sentences and have no idea what I was saying out loud or in my mind.

My husband gets frustrated because he can't read my mind and I can't finish my sentences...if he were my best friend from high school I would never have to finish my thoughts.  All girls have that friend that can finish your thoughts...people listening to you think you are talking in code.  Well...again my husband is not my girl friend from high school and he just looks at me and shakes his head saying, "and...", when I stop in the middle of a sentence.  I usually respond with, "you know...", like he can read my mind.  He then gives me the typical, "No...I don't know...you haven't told me...", and the conversation ends with me saying, "well...ummmm...nevermind"...and walking away.

I often finish a description of something with the "yadda, yadda, yadda" phrase from Seinfeld.  Once you start using the "yadda, yadda, yadda" you never go back to finishing details again.  I think the first time I heard it on the show my mind snapped it up and thought there it is...the perfect ending to all her useless, rambling, thoughts.  That's ok...because now there is blogging and I put all the rambling right here...