OK...I have had a blogger account for sometime...but haven't really done anything with it, except follow other blogs. Today I will start what I hope will be one of many of my own contributions. There seems to be a huge partisan rift these days, that actually has made me question my own personal stance as a Republican and a Conservative. I am a moderate conservative. Socially I do lean more toward the left. Fiscally I lean right. I took one of those "Political" quizzes one time that labeled me as a centrist...which I can see. However, I don't think that you can look at everyone and judge them based on what their voter registration card says. Some people may be that black and white...but most are not. I am a Republican, I am a Conservative, and I am a Christian. Too some people that translates to I am a racist, I am a neo-con, I am a fundamentalist nutbag. On the other hand I know plenty of people that throw out just as many irrational labels on Liberals or Democrats. If the world were that simple we would not have the grief that we do. Everyone has their reasons for their stances. I know many people are conditioned by their upbringing to sway a certain way and I know that many people just follow the herd. I, however, have very personal reasons for being a conservative. I believe that most people have a sound reason for their political leaning and believe in listening and understanding others. Here is some background that may help you understand mine.
I was raised in a conservative household and as a teen and young adult I took on an extremely liberal view of life and the issues in the world at the time. What I saw as "liberal" was actually very reckless and dangerous. I pushed away from everything mainstream and traditional. I felt that this was how you expressed your true self. I ended up in jail and eventually in prison at the age of 20. I also had a son at the age of 19 and still ended up in prison. My parents raised my son and I wandered lost through life for a few years. When I got out of prison in I ended up in a relationship with someone that I thought was the "One". Unfortunately, he was just an extension of the self destruction that I had created in my life. I ended up back in Prison in for another 2 1/2 years. When I got out he was still in my life and I thought that meant I had to be with him. I spent the next 3 years in pure hell. He was abusive, sold drugs, cheated on me, had children with other women while we were "together", and left me with no self esteem, confidence, or hope. I got pregnant and realized I could not stay anymore and I left. I wish I could say it was a fairytale ending, but it wasn't and I continued to struggle to permanently remove him from my life for two more years. I finally let go of everything self destructive I had been hanging onto and moved on with my life for good. My life now is a blessing and I am thankful for all that I have. I worked extremely hard to put my life back together and raise my children in a healthy environment.
I know what a story...but how does this explain why I'm a conservative? For me I had to do a great deal of soul searching to realize that the traditional values and staunch upbringing I had helped pull me out of my personal hell. I knew my parents had raised a strong girl and I just had to find her. I was also exposed to MANY things that the average American will never experience and I saw how things are handled legally that really disgusted me. If I was basing my political affiliation on legal experiences only I would be considered a liberal. The legal system does not work and prison does not work either. I spent four years in prison and there was no rehabilitation...I was worse when I got out and I turned my life around on my own. All prison did for me as a young 20 year old was pound into my head that "I was a bad person" and so when I got out I continued to believe that's who I was, just a "bad person".
This life also showed me every way in which people abuse the system. When I left my abusive ex I lived in a women's shelter. I was 6 months pregnant and stayed there until my daughter was three months old. During that time I watched women come in and out of the shelter. We were all there for help. Unfortunately, there were only a handful of us there that were actually working at turning our lives around and moving onto better things. The shelter was a domestic crisis shelter, but it was also the only women's shelter in the city I live in. They took in homeless women, women that were ordered there by CPS or the court in order to keep their kids, and ofcourse domestic violence victims. There were counselors and case managers and a very supportive staff. There were a few women like me there that were using the shelter the way it was intended...to transition on to a new or better life. Most fought the system and looked down at the help that was being offered to them. They also took advantage of everything the shelter provided. They stole food and clothes, lied about their future housing situation so they could get free furniture when they left, and treated most of the staff like trash. It was disheartening to be around.
While at the shelter I was on a waiting list for a low income apartment. I moved when my daughter was 3 months old. I lived in section 8 housing, I was on welfare...I received food stamps, AFDC, and was on AHCCCS. I was also working, I was with both of my kids, and I was happy. I lived in this complex for three years. During that time I worked different jobs...each time finding a better job until I got the job that I have to this day. I reported all my earnings, I paid more rent whenever I got a pay increase and eventually I was entirely off of welfare. Yet all around me were people once again just abusing the system left and right. My neighbors had no jobs and were doing nothing to change that and paying $0 for rent. Or they were dealing drugs and buying tons of material items, but claiming $0 income and also paying $0 for rent. And just like the shelter...there were some people that lived there who worked very hard and used the section 8 as a transitioning point in there life. Most, however, abused the system and took advantage of everyone around them.
While I was living in this complex, I started to recognize the true reason that this country has public assistance and the true reason why so many people look down on it. I was directly in the midst of it...receiving public assistance...and I was full of contempt for all the people around me just wasting it. I thought why can't this be monitored better. I am working my ass off to get off of welfare and I am still paying for the deadbeats who live next to me. The people that abuse the system take away from the people that truly deserve public assistance. The people that work hard every week just to pay the bills and feed their family with nothing left over are the people that should be on public assistance. Instead we waste so much money on abusers, with no plan for changing the system. I believe that people need to work for what they have and if you are trying to make an honest living you are most deserving of help. Too me, that is a conservative view point.
For me personally, being a conservative, ties in closely to my personal traditional values...and they are not necessarily what most people consider "traditional"values. I was an out of control young person and my outlook on life was dismal. This way of life almost killed me, and when I came out of that scary time a huge CONSERVATIVE mindset took over. I took stock in what my family, my upbringing, my values really meant and I realized that was something I cherished and would never let go of again. As I said earlier I claimed to "liberal" when I was young, but the truth was I was so out of control, that was the closest thing that I could identify with to convince myself that I was still within a reasonable value system. I toted my actions as leftist when really they were just stupid and self destructive. I live my life conservatively now and I believe in the sanctity of family and home. When I look at the government I think of my own life and the personal responsibility that I had to take to improve it, and I apply that thinking. I do tend to think more singularly than as a whole at times...which also seems to sway to conservative politics. I reiterate again...fiscally I am a conservative...socially I lean left.
However, that does not mean that I am not proud to be a Republican Christian. I am Christian and I do feel that my faith has become much stronger over the last few years. I was actually baptized as a Jehovah's Witness when I was 19...yeah and then I went to jail...they kicked me out of the church before that happened. I thought I understood what I was doing at the time, but the truth was I was so lost and my first real love's family were Witnesses and so I dove in hoping to find my way...that didn't happen. For many years I practiced Buddhism and there was a time when I claimed to not believe in God at all...I've been all over the religious road. When my life settled down I once again found myself back where I had been when I was growing up, only this time it fit and my faith was there and I recognized what my true beliefs were.
That all being said...for those of you that are wondering what a Korean, Republican, Christian, Female thinks about the issues...I will tell you...and you can form your opinion of me from there.
I am a Christian and I support gay marriage! I don't believe there is anything wrong with homosexuality and don't believe that it is anyone's place to judge others. As a Christian I believe that God gave us all free will for a reason. We are also to emulate Christ. Christ died for us all and he did not judge anyone before that happened. Christ was kind and loving TO EVERYONE! I attend a liberal church and I am very happy with it. Our seminary accepts people of all sexual orientations and I do not stand with Fundamental churches. I do not see them as true Christians. When you take this stand as a Christian...Fundamentalists flip out on you...and all I think is..."Wow, that's really Christ like!"
Oh...and I am pro choice! First of all again...Free Will...God gave us free will. Eve didn't eat the forbidden fruit because God made her. I believe in supporting women during a time in their life that is very difficult and emotional. Women don't skip into clinics to have abortions like they are happy about it...they are struggling. Every situation is different and the choice movement is about supporting women no matter what decision they make. We don't chase down women that decide against abortion and harass them, we don't kill doctors that don't perform abortions, and we don't condone violence. People say they are pro-life, but they are really anti-choice. And I had a friend point out that many pro-lifers are Fundamental nutbags that support the death penalty and eat meat. Hypocrisy knows no bounds. Being pro-choice does not mean advocating for abortion...it means advocating for education, support, and help for women that need it. The anti-choice movement is filled with hypocritical nutbags that use religion as an excuse for their misogynistic views and close mindedness.
I would have to say that those are the biggest issues that I want people to know my viewpoint on. I don't shy away from them...and I don't shy away from believing that you can be a Conservative, Republican, Christian that feels that way about those issues.
OK one more time just in case you missed it...I am not a neo-con, and I am not racist (if I was I could only talk to Koreans and that would be hard because I was adopted by an Italian and Irishman), and I am not a Fundamentalist. I am a free thinking, intelligent woman who identifies with the Republican Party, believes in Conservatism, and Christianity.
Wow...I guess that was enough for my first real blog...I think next time I will talk about education.
I will admit that I use the words "conservative" and "liberal" very loosely in casual conversation (you'll be able to see the difference when I use the capital C or L to differentiate my meaning when I'm being more *specific* to original meaning and terminology.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, I don't believe the word Conservative actually applies to what you're describing, save for certain traditional family values that were instilled in you by parents who fell into a classic Conservative position (as my parents were and are). I also don't put too much stock in whether a person has R or D after their name, though in the current political climate, having an R after your name places you (unfortunately) among the Teabag set - who are an ill representation of what Republicanism was meant to be. I get annoyed with many Republicans who yell "Party of Lincoln" without really examining the history (and why in the staunchly Republican South, Lincoln is still reviled to this day) ~ because too many don't really know the history of the big party migrations (or the history of the Dixiecrats for that matter).
No...this is precisely why I shed the party labels. The two major parties are two sides of the same coin. I also steer clear of "conservative" or "liberal" generally, unless I'm addressing *stereotypes* (and I definitely know the differences between C & L and neocon and neolib).
I do understand what you're describing about life experience being contributing factors to turn your personal life around - and likewise, I understand that the personal is the political. Those of us who survived through the trials by fire into a more reserved adulthood are often pigeonholed by people who would call us "living Conservatives" based on Churchill's old saying that "if you're not liberal in your youth, you're without a heart; if your not conservative in your later years, you're without a brain" -- but I find that to be flawed, too. It's an oversimplification of individuality and beliefs - it's an oversimplification of WHY we value what we do.
In your descriptions, except for some of the specific experiences involving jail/prison, you could just as easily be describing me - including the religious sojourn. I am no Christian...but I believe the Christ's teachings were sound. His teachings are older than his existence, were mirrored by Buddha, and were mirrored by Gandhi...what he taught was nothing new. But that delves into philosophy, and we can save that discussion for another day. Where I was originally going is that I see you to have the strains of...
(wait for it)
...a Progressive. Think about what that word means. It's not a pigeonhole label, and it's not a static label - by its very meaning, it implies progress. Progressives are not necessarily Republican, Democrat, or any other party. I consider myself very much a Progressive...and after many years of being a registered Democrat, I dropped all party affiliation - I am independent - and I do not vote based upon party lines.
You are a fine example of what a Christian should represent...unlike so many who wear that title like a shiny badge - but who fail to live up to what it should mean. You are completely outnumbered in all three of the categories you named by people who are far more extreme than you...as was I when I was a Christian...when I was a Democrat...and when I considered myself (believe it or not) a Conservative.
Ah...lots of thoughts here. I'm glad you're here in blogger...I've added you to my blogroll...and will work to keep up.
xoxo
When I woke up this morning I thought about this post and then when I read your comment I started laughing. I was thinking to myself (before I read your comment)I am not a "conservative". I have this fantasy in my mind about what a Republican should be. I also agree with you regarding what it means today to have that "R" behind your name. Some where in the back of my convoluted mind I like to tell myself that I can be the one that starts the reform movement in the Republican party...it's ok to laugh here. :)
ReplyDeleteI realized this morning after re-reading my post that my clinging to that R is more about my dad. My dad was a conservative through and through. Our relationship was almost non-existent for periods of time. My dad would have done anything for me if I had been helping myself when I was younger. Instead I hurt him a great deal and being the type of man he was, that hurting made him turn away from me. I reached out to him to start the healing process even when he was not ready for it...and I never gave in. I knew it would take time but he would come around. When I moved back to Sierra Vista permanently things started to work itself out. My dad passed away in 2007. He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and he was gone in two months. I spent a great deal of time with him during those last two months. We knew he was going to die and we spent a great deal of time talking and getting closure. He said things to me in that time that literally lifted away all the shame and doubt I had had about myself for years. I feel like I keep that "R" behind my name as a tribute to him. Like I am casting the vote he can't anymore. I never thought of my political affiliation as being something sentimental until I started examining it more.
I agree with you...I am a Progressive. When I read that, I said it out loud, like it was an affirmation...I am a Progressive and I like myself. Then I acknowledged that I have an actual emotional bond to being a Republican...I will have to work on that part.
I don't even know how to explain my faith. It was like one day I woke up and it finally made sense to me and I was comfortable with it and it made me feel good so I went with it. Maybe it was my own little personal epiphany. I do appreciate the correlation between Buddhism and Christ. I read the "Good Heart" by the Dalai Lama when I was in my late 20's and found it to be a small turning point in my own personal revelations about religion.
I am glad to be on here as well...as soon as I started typing...my mind raced off and I thought I am going to post all the time. Thanks for always giving great feedback!!